I'm trying to see purpose in life. I'm trying to convince myself that facing another day is better than not. Anyone attempting to offer consolation to me does so by assuring me that 'time heals all wounds' or suggests that I find something else on which to focus my mind.
The notion that 'time heals all wounds', apart from being demonstrably false, offers little comfort. The implication is that given enough time, your memory will be dull enough so as not to matter. In fact, it is just this proposition which scares me more than anything.
I can't openly discuss the details of our relationship or how it found its end, making it truly impossible for anyone to understand just how unique it is.
I really thought it might get easier. I could tell it wasn't, but I thought that maybe if I kept waiting, tried to forget, focus my attention elsewhere, it might get easier. It turns out that the opposite is true. You appear in my dreams with ever-increasing frequency, I have begun to experience physical effects of said dreams, and all peripheral aspects of my life continue to deteriorate.
I miss you so much, Marie. I never knew that I could love anyone so deeply. I feel entirely empty and without purpose since last I saw you. I am trying to find the strength to survive, but with each passing day seeing my sense of purpose diminished I am failing.
