Good Morning?

What the hell is so good about it? Why does everyone keep saying this to me? Good morning! Good afternoon! Good night! Good weekend! Good summer!

Just what exactly is so good about any of it?

I wake up alone every morning wishing I could sleep forever and immediately missing you. After a night of dreaming about you, there really is nothing good about waking up. It's so hard.

I walk through the day with my mask on, pretending to be fine. It is now beginning to wear off though. Some have begun to notice. I am increasingly confronted with inquiries as to how I am getting along. More people seem to detect that something is wrong in my head. I tire of lying to them. I wish no longer to hide behind this façade. It's all coming down around me.

The dreams are coming more frequently and the sensations are increasingly realistic. I wake feeling as though I have been embracing you all night. I literally feel the weight of your body against mine. Im afraid I may actually be going insane.

My heart has been lost for some time. It seems now that my mind is to follow suit. Soon I will be little more than a delusional maniac, undergoing hallucinations. I now have several ticks. My lips pop, my throat jumps up and down, my ears move, my eyes twist about, my wrists lock and release, and I stutter. Each continues to develop daily. I can barely speak in full sentences anymore. My thoughts are increasingly jumbled and I have noticed people struggling to follow me in conversation.

It won't be long until no one remains to tolerate me and with a broken heart and broken mind I become truly alone.

The struggle to justify living any longer will soon be lost.