It's This Moment

It's this moment in which I at once feel especially desperate for you and all other cares seem trivial.

Here, with no prospects in my life, I lay in the cocoon of false happiness I've spun wondering, agonising, about how distant you are from me. Another job turns me down, another person marginalises me, another friend reveals of little importance I am to them, and I find myself slipping further away from where I thought my life would be.

You were supposed to be there to help me. Just the sound of your voice could calm my senses. I was supposed to be your support as well. Together we could talk about anything and we could help each other through our most trying ordeals.

Alas, I lay here alone, struggling to decide what, if anything, is worth my being alive even one more day.

I've convinced myself that staying alive is something that you would have wanted me to do. With each day though, it becomes clearer to me that this assertion is purely of my own deluded creation. You are gone and never to be effected by my existence or non-existence again.