I Know I Am!

Crazy.
Stupid.
Insane.
Emotional.
Ridiculous.
Irrational.
Intense.
Verbose.
Melodramatic.
Passionate.
Committed.
Serious.
Loving.
Sincere.
Desperate.
Hurting...
Missing...
...hoping.

I know that very little of what I do these days makes sense. I know I live in a world of impossibility. I know I am chasing a ghost. I know I am pretending there could be a solution.

You took me by surprise. I never expected to feel anything like what you made me feel. I didn't know the feel of warm breath on my neck could feel like a blanket of peace being draped about my battered body. I never thought that resting my head upon your shoulders could make me feel weightless. I never prepared to find myself entirely so utterly deconstructed by your smile. How could I have been aware that the mere sight of you could reduce me to a blubbering fool.

I thought - for a second - that I'd be able to move past you. I thought maybe I could get over it and pick up the pieces. I even tried to convince myself that everyone was right - that we really never stood a chance. I thought I could give up on you, but baby I just can't.