It Should Get Easier, Right?

Today, I thought about this outfit of yours... The one you wore the first time we kissed. The sight of you absolutely confounded my senses and left me utterly powerless against my better judgement. I knew it was risky and I knew you were nervous, but the way our eyes connected and the energy I felt between us was too much to ignore. I leaned over, stroked your cheek with my hand and tenderly kissed your lips. At that moment, I felt sensations I had never even heard of. I became certain beyond any doubt that I had found something truly priceless. I knew that you were like none other and to be in your proximity alone, much less your arms, was an honor not to be taken lightly.

You wore that little pencil skirt with the big buttons up the side and that light-blue sweater. You wore those shoes that you knew I liked as well. As nice as it all was, it served as little more than a distraction from the absolute perfection concealed beneath.

Our moments together were always hurried by a world that couldn't understand. We were apprehensive and careful to dive in too deep because we had seen so many relationships go awry. You told me that there was just so much about your future yet unknown and unplanned. You were cautious about letting yourself fall too deeply. Nevertheless, nothing could conceal the truth behind us. We were amazing together. We had intense energy and thrilling chemistry. Despite all outside impediments, we found our own little world for those brief chances and we loved it. We both experienced a little bit of what happiness could be.

Now here I lay, eyes once again restricted from closure and mind from rest. Entangled in a web of sorrow, guilt, pain, longing, hope... The only way it could get easier is if I were to forget you. I'll sooner see the life drain from my body. I believe I could live with the knowledge that I was fortunate enough to experience something which few even dream of. If the price for that gift is a lifetime of hopeless reminiscing and angst, I should still think it a petty price to pay.